The Winter Years_Keep Them Warm!

Old age doesn’t come on suddenly. It actually creeps in slowly, taking away your health, social life, your children, your job, and even your finances. When you are young life is a whirlwind; there is so much to do and not enough time. Old age reverses this phenomenon. There is so much time but so little to do and even less energy to do what you have to do. Children may leave to work in far off places. The empty nest depresses you. Having spent all your energy and time on your children in your younger years, the loneliness of old age hits you hard.

Unfortunately, many old people get depressed, feel their lives are finished and they have nothing to look forward to. It is not unusual to see lifeless oldies who think their time is done and who give up on life.

Does it always have to be like this? Is life really over at sixty?

No! This is the age to enjoy your spouse’s company, to strengthen the relationship that may have weakened being mom and dad. This is the age to spend quality time with your friends and relatives. This is the time to nurture your body and soul, to read books, to watch movies, to go out and splurge now and then, to relearn what you had learnt earlier but forgot in the busy humdrum of life. Now you also have time to learn a new hobby- singing, dancing, music, yoga, painting, gardening etc. Travelling to new places can become gratifying.

Here are some tips to make your winter years more rewarding and enjoyable.

1. Organize your day. Just as in your younger years, make a timetable that includes not only rest, sleep and meals, but also recreation, fun, reading, music etc. Having a plan gives you something to look forward to and also helps you gear up efforts to achieve what you want.

2. Socialize. Find people with similar interests, hobbies and ideas, thoughts and beliefs. Make a group and meet occasionally. The meeting should not be based around food but around discussions, learning something new, discussing a book you have read, sharing ideas on current social and political problems, visiting new places etc.

3. Exercise. Exercising those unresponsive joints, the weak heart, the diabetic legs, the nervous mind is all the more essential now. Adjust the level and pace of exercise to your stamina and physical condition. Yogic breathing and stretching exercises, walking, swimming, cycling are good exercises. They not only keep you fit and active but also provide mental peace. A neighbourhood group that meets in a park or someone’s house for these activities can provide the motivation for continuing this.

4. Find a part time job. Those having talents of teaching, computers, accountancy etc. can easily find part time jobs to keep themselves busy for part of the day and to keep the moolah flowing in.

5. Fulfill your dreams. If you have plenty of time on your hands, now is the time to do all the things you always wanted to do. Join music, painting or other hobby classes. Just let yourself go. Enjoy learning new things. Again, to save expenses, an artist can hold painting classes, someone can teach the group cooking, while another one can teach yoga and meditation. One doesn’t have to be perfect to be a teacher. Offer your services to the group if you feel you have a talent that others may not have.

6. Keep the brain cells active. Doing crossword puzzles, brain teasers, Sudoku, Solitaire, Mahjong etc. keeps the mind active. Read history and geography of the country. Keep yourself updated on current affairs by reading newspapers or listening to television news.

7. Travel. If you have enough financial resources, travel to far off places, places you always wanted to visit but could not because of endless responsibilities. If your partner is available, it is all the more fun. Otherwise do not hesitate to find like-minded companions for travelling. Many people enjoy this experience alone too. Join a cruise, a group expedition, or even a teerath yatra or pilgrimage. If your financial resources are limited, explore your town and go for picnics with your friends.

8. Take charge. Organize a day out for your family. Invite friends over. Arrange an event for your children and their children. Don’t become dependent for your fun on others. Take the initiative to make life interesting for those around you too.

9. Offer your time and help to others. Sitting with a sick person, babysitting, telling stories to young children are some of the ways you can help others around you with. A young neighbor whose child is sick may need somebody to supervise the child while she goes for essential shopping. Your neighbours may have invited guests for dinner. If you are a good cook you can pitch in by offering to cook a dish and hence decrease their workload. You can be sure you will be helped in time of your need by people whom you have helped. If you are staying with your children, do offer to help in cooking, teaching the kids, or babysitting whenever you can. Do not expect the young children to dance attendance on you all the time. They have duties to fulfill like you had in your younger years.

10. Stay healthy. Many older people suffer from some ailment or the other. Having less energy that what you had in your youth is normal. Follow the doctor’s advice vis a vis your medicines. Eat healthy and exercise. The need for food becomes less with each passing decade. Have vegetables, green leafy vegetables, fruits, curd and lemon juice. Steamed and boiled food is easier on the stomach and body than fried, creamy and sugary foods. Have small but frequent meals.

11. Avoid criticism as well as self-deprecation. Criticizing others, nagging, gossiping and cribbing are habits that will make people shun you. Though a very entertaining hobby, negative talk, whether it is about others or yourself is a self-defeating and self-destructive behaviour.

Nobody really wants to be around a negative person. When you talk ill of somebody it invariably reaches that person and you are off that person’s list forever. Your wisdom and years of experience may be used to offer advice to those who need it. However the choice to use that lies with the person advised.

12. Be happy. Enjoy each moment of your life. Laugh, sing and dance with your friends and children. Celebrate your life for what it is worth. You have done your best in your younger years. Now is the time to shift the focus on yourself.

You can think of your winter years as a curse or make them exciting and fruitful. The choice is entirely yours!

Dr. Sudeep Bhangoo is a Family and Child Counsellor based in Chandigarh Tricity. She is also available for online counselling.

Phone: 91 8699009112/9814296461 email: sbhangoo4@gmail.com